Say Hello, To Putting You First!!

Hello All! I hope you enjoy this entry about Self-Care.

As I have gotten older, I realize that time is quickly going by. As the years go by at lightening speed, it makes me think about all the goals that I made for myself and still have not accomplished. I don’t feel sad about not accomplishing those goals because I am a strong believer that things happen when they are supposed to happen.

But, what does make me sad is the reason why things didn’t go the way that I thought they should have. The fact is that I didn’t take the time to pour myself into the most important person in my life, Me.

Putting myself last and my needs behind everyone else may not seems like a bad thing but in actuality it is the worse thing that I could have ever done to myself. By not putting me first, I did not focus on my spiritual, physical, and mental needs. I spent so much time doing for others that I never did for myself.

I am a single mother whose mother was a single Mother. I watched my Mother go all of my life putting everyone before her. She never did anything for herself. In her mind, she was a mother first and everything else second. Many times, she went without so that her children could have. As a single mother, this also became my mindset.

Many women around the world think the same exact way. But, the problem with this mindset is that when it comes to putting others first and not taking care of ourselves it reaches over in multiple areas of our lives. One, is our health. Our health is the most important thing in our lives that we need to be mindful of. Our health and us being in the best health possible is what keeps us alive.

I know first hand from the death of my mother what it looks when we don’t put our health first. My Mother died from Congestive Heart Failure at the young age of 53. Her death is an example of what happens if we don’t start making changes to take care of us. The death of my Mother is the hardest death that I have ever gone through. It is something that I don’t want to put my children through if it can be prevented.

I have to remember that I am the engine in the car of my life. If the engine is in bad shape it doesn’t matter what else on the car is working. The car is NOT going to move with a faulty engine. If I, as the the engine don’t take care of myself it is possible that I could end up dead because of it. Unlike a car engine, there is no replacement for me. That means that all the people that I love and that count on me would have to live their lives without me by their side.

Many times we are tricked into thinking that our needs, our desires, and our wants are something that we can go through life being unfulfilled. We are taught to think as long as our significant other, our children, our parents are ok then we will be ok.

But, honestly we have to remember this mindset is backwards. We have to be sure that we are alright, first. If we are walking around as fragmented versions of ourselves then, how can we be good for anyone else?

I know for those of us that have children that if we have to chose between doing for our children and doing for us, without a question we select our children, hands down. But, what about all the times that we don’t have to make a choice between us and our children but STILL DON’T take care of us.

We need to stop always putting ourselves last. At some point, WE HAVE TO STOP PUTTING OURSELVES ON THE BACK BURNER!

Especially, those of us that have children. We have to remember that our children are watching us not take care of ourselves. What we fail to realize is that it leaves an imprint on them and not in a good way. It shows our daughters that they can go without. It shows our sons that a woman will be okay with scraps. This is not a good example.

That means that we have to start focusing on us and putting ourselves first. In order to put ourselves first, we have to remember that we are, worth it. It is vital that we practice self-care.

The first step in Self-Care is taking care of our health in all areas.

If you need to make an appointment to see your doctor for you yearly exam then do that. That means general physician and gynecologist. Even if it has been years since you have gone, go. Make those appointments now and KEEP them.

If you go to the doctor and your doctor tells you that you have an ailment try your best not to get upset or alarmed. Always remember, that as long as you have life left in you that any diagnose given by the doctor can be overcome.

Taking care of your health also means your mental health as well. So, if you need help in that area don’t be hesitant to get the help you need.

Many times we have visions for our lives but don’t do them because we always think that we can do what we want later. Stop waiting until later, do it NOW. Create a plan and reach out to people to get the help you need to make your dreams come true.

If you want to go back to school, go. If you want to open up that Cupcake Business, do it. If you want to open that boutique, open it.

Take care of you! Get your hair done, buy you some new clothes, get your nails and toes done.

Some of you may say Gabrielle, I don’t have the money but I urge you to find a way to make sure you don’t go without.

Start having PAMPER YOURSELF PARTIES with your girls.I am sure you know two people that do affordable styles. One may do nice crochet styles and another one can do quick weaves and blowouts. They may be willing to give a discount on hairstyles if they are guaranteed a certain number of clients. Make sure everyone shows up to the party with washed hair.

Buy supplies at the dollar store for pedicures and pull out that foot spa. Then everyone can do their own pedicures. Everyone bring their nail polish from home and paint your toes and your nails.

If the Pamper Party is not something that works for you then have your own Pamper Party. Go on YouTube and find quick easy hair styles you can do yourself. Do your own pedicure and paint your own nails and toes.

If you need clothes but can’t afford new ones find out when the nice thrift stores in your area have sales so that you can rack up on an entire wardrobe for cheap. Or shop off season and by your clothes new on clearance and put them away to wear when they are in season again.

We need to do what we have to do to feel our best. Feeling our best will help lead us to looking our best. Once we feel our best and look our best nothing will be able to stop us from doing our best.

I am almost positive that my Mother struggled with seeing her worth as a woman, first and not just a Mother. I am sure if she had realized her value she would have put her herself first.

I wish that I had been wise enough to urge my Mother to take care of herself. I remember the day I saw her look her best. Her face was beat, she was dressed in the sharpest outfit, her hair styled perfectly, and her nails were painted a pretty pearl color.

It was the last time I saw her, in her coffin.

Don’t be like my Mom.

Take care of you, NOW.

My promise to myself is to love myself more and to focus on Self-Care. Now, I am in a place in my life where I know it is necessary for me to do the work needed and take care of myself.

We should all to practice Self-Care and to take care of us.

We deserve to chase our dreams, look good while we do it, be in the best health, and enjoy everything that life has to offer.

Be empowered and say goodbye to telling yourself no. Say hello, to putting you first.

As always, thank you for spending this moment with me.

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